Culture is defined as: "the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group." and some do not realize that there are cultures within their own families. Although family culture is what defines how a family functions, these values and standards are not set in stone. Families must actively choose to create a culture if they intend to have one of mutual love, respect, moral rightness, accountability, service, and kindness. However, family cultures are not established overnight, and the development of family culture may span over generations of time. What we decide to have our families become today, will affect how generations develop in the future. My hope today consists of two things: one, to help you see what should be encompassed within a healthy family culture, and two, to help you understand how those cultures can be developed.
In "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, explicitly stated that: "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.". While there are so many opinions in the world, especially in regard to how to raise a family, it can seem overwhelming to know what parenting methods to implement when starting a family of your own. However, this clear statement given by Prophets of God simplifies the complexity of knowing how to create a happy family. Their claim is that by following and implementing the principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we will find happiness! Do they give a play by play for what we should do in every parenting situation? No, nor do I think they should. Instead, they direct our attention to where our attention should be riveted, the Lord Jesus Christ and His Gospel. With this focus, our decisions of what to do when faced with difficult parenting situations will become clear.
These limits are not to punish the child but rather to teach them that there is a clear difference between right and wrong. President Dallin H Oaks has said: "The philosophy of moral relativism, which holds that each person is free to choose for himself what is right and wrong, is becoming the unofficial creed for many in America and other Western nations.". Unlike the trends of today's society, children should gain an understanding and feeling for what is right or wrong. President Oaks goes on to say that: "we should not be tolerant with ourselves. We should be ruled by the demands of truth. We should be strong in keeping the commandments and our covenants, and we should repent and improve when we fall short.". The second principle of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is repentance. Repentance requires us to change our perspective and actions to align with the will of Christ. This is also true in the cultures of our families. If there is wrong moral behavior, it should be corrected and improved for the future. Correcting such behavior and changing a family culture may take extensive evaluation and great effort but doing so will bring a family closer together. "The prophets have taught that it is necessary to leave behind anything in our old cultures that is inconsistent with the culture of Christ." (Elder William K. Jackson). Our family culture, to be successful, should be focused and founded upon Jesus Christ.
A child when they are developing must learn right and wrong. Although we are all born with a moral sense of what is right and wrong, a child cannot be expected to know what it has taken years of experience for us as parents to learn. “Train the child the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). What are we to teach our children? Again, we are to teach them the principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. David O McKay has said: "The inspiration of God is seen in requiring the Latter-day Saints to keep their homes intact and to teach their children the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ.". What I have recently learned about parenting has also taught me the importance of establishing clear, defined rules. Most of these rules will derive from principles within the Gospel of Jesus Christ. "… The child should learn that there are limits to his actions, that there are certain bounds beyond which he cannot pass with impunity. This conformity to home conditions can be easily obtained with kindness, but with firmness."(David O Mckay).
An important truth that I learned recently is that to repent, and to improve behavior are not the same. Usually, improved behavior is a result of true repentance but as Elder Neil L. Anderson taught: "Such changes of behavior, even if in a positive direction, do not constitute true repentance. If we truly seek to put away sin, we must first look to Him who is the Author of our salvation.". I have often wondered how I can have my family continually improve within creating discouragement or becoming overbearing. Through my study, I have found that the one solution to this and all other parenting methods is to look to our Savior Jesus Christ. For as mentioned in the beginning of this blog: "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of (Him)".
Works Cited:McKay, David O. “The Noble Calling of Parents.” Chapter 16, 1 Jan. 2011, www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/teachings-david-o-mckay/chapter-16?lang=eng.
Jackson, William K. “The Culture of Christ.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, 3 Oct. 2020, www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2020/10/27jackson?lang=eng.
Oaks, Dallin H. “‘Truth and Tolerance’ .” Newsroom.Churchofjesuschrist.Org, 11 Sept. 2011, newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/-truth-and-tolerance-elder-dallin-h-oaks.
The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. “The Family Proclamation.” Proclamation, www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng. Accessed 13 May 2023.
Andersen, Neil L. “Detours on the Road to Forgiveness.” The Divine Gift of Forgiveness, Deseret Book, Salt Lake City, UT, 2019.
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