It would be safe to assume that everyone in a family has conflicts with one another from time to time. Although many dream of a picture-perfect family with no contention between members, this is not realistic. Nor would it be beneficial to the family. In fact, research has shown that when families face conflict and if they deal with it properly, it may result in a stronger relationship with one another. Isn't it interesting how the factor that seems to drive people apart, may bring them closer together if dealt with correctly? Today we'll explore how conflict affects the family unit and how a family can use the stressful opportunity to bring them closer together.
In the article "Growing Closer as a Family during Crisis: Strength, Resiliency and LOVE!" written by Mary E May, she explains that one pillar of strengthening family relationships amidst crises or conflict is communication. Let's look at what role communication plays in a hypothetical situation. Say that someone had fallen, hit their head on a hard surface, and passed out. Your immediate response, if you are a decent person, is to call 911 for help. You will have to clearly communicate the situation with the operator and give clear coordinates of your location. Then, when the paramedics arrive, they will also ask questions as to what happened, to which you would need to quickly respond. You would need to thoroughly explain what happened and give as much detail as possible in order for the medical professionals to diagnose the issue and respond with the proper procedure to help them. Whew, that was a lot of communication. Similarly, when a family faces a crisis, it is important they communicate with one another. This may include defining what the problem is, delegating responsibility, determining a solution, taking responsibility, and so on. Though the situation may seem intense, figuring it out together unifies family members as they rely on one another for help in navigating a stressful time.
"When crisis hits your family, everyone's needs must be communicated. Everyone's feelings must be shared; everyone's suggestions must be considered. When your family is dealing with a crisis, these needs, feelings, and suggestions become critical to the family's ability to remain unified. Outbreaks of fear, anger, or grief may be a family member's way of trying to communicate a need that is going unmet." A special closeness is formed as we listen to, understand, and help one another amidst trying circumstances.
Families who are religious also have a great advantage over others when confronted with a crisis or stressful circumstance. For example, a family who experiences the loss of a loved one, may have a different view of the passing if they believe in life after death. It provides hope that the family member is still living in some way and that the rest of the family will get to see their loved one again. For those who believe in God, they may rely on Him even more during difficult experiences as they seek comfort and strength. As a family practices their faith together, it creates a sense of unity and usually creates a better perspective on the situation. The perspective of the situation often determines whether a trial will be a blessing or a detriment to a family. As President Russell M Nelson has said: "the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.".
During the COVID-19 pandemic, there were major changes in social and family life. However, instead of viewing these difficulties as obstacles that would defeat us, my family saw it in another way! Where other families chose to feel separation and isolation, our family chose to see it as an opportunity to spend more time together. In the end, we became closer than ever before, all because of our faith, love, and perspective.
Though conflict is difficult to endure, it is easier to handle when viewed as an opportunity to grow. Lauer and Lauer, authors of "Marriage and Family: the Quest for Intimacy", define this as reframing. "Reframing, or redefining the meaning of something, is a way of changing your perspective on a situation. It isn't the situation that is changed but the way that you look at it. In essence, you learn to redefine something that you had defined as troublesome as adaptive and useful. The technique can help you overcome a variety of problems.". It is incredible that one of the greatest solutions to conflict is simply by changing your perspective on it. Families will become closer if they choose to see difficulties as an opportunity rather than an impossible challenge.
Works Cited:
Lauer, Robert H., and Jeanette C. Lauer. Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy. McGraw Hill LLC, 2022.
May, Mary E. “Growing Closer as a Family during Crisis: Strength, Resiliency and Love!” LinkedIn, 16 Apr. 2020, www.linkedin.com/pulse/growing-closer-family-during-crisis-strength-resiliency-mary-e-may/.
Comments
Post a Comment